Since June my life has taken a drastic turn.
In early May my husband informed me that he felt the call to preach on his life.
I didn’t feel a call at all. I like just going to church, and I didn’t buck the system at all when he started leading music at our church. Nope, I actually learned to play an instrument and jumped up in the band with him. But when he started feeling like music wasn’t all that he was suppose to be doing, my heart sank to my feet.
I was raised in a pastor’s home. My dad was my pastor for my whole life. And I was the typical pastor’s kid. I had a little wild streak, but I knew the boundaries. When I?got in trouble, it wasn’t just in the home, it was in the church too. In fact, I probably got in more trouble at church than I?did at home.
When you grow up with your whole life entangled with your church, then you get to know the good, the bad and the ugly.
Not all people in the church are christians. That’s right! Christian means Christ-like... I’m sure most of our readers could tell stories of their church members being a little less than Christ-like. Shoot, I can tell stories of myself being much less than Christ-like. But when I think of someone I love being a pastor, my mind automatically closes in on the few times that people hurt our family.
The one thing I kept telling my husband when he first started talking about this new endeavor for our family is that church people can really be mean sometimes. They aren’t always loving on the pastor and appreciating the words that he is sharing. Nope, there are plenty of times when they are griping about the pastor, and (surely not!) the pastor’s wife.
I can handle people putting me down. If you work in our line of business, you’d better be pretty tough skinned, but I cannot deal with someone putting down my husband. I feel like it’s my job to protect him and his name, and I will come up on you like a spider monkey if you say anything downgrading about my man.
So you can imagine how nervous I was about our lives when he was positioned as a pastor of a church. When I say anxiety and fear covered me, that’s an understatement. My husband kept saying that I was overreacting, but I was preparing myself for the worst possible situation.
If you’ve ever been around me, or if you’ve read this column for any amount of time, then you know that I am unconventional in most ways. I’m loud, obnoxious, never do things by the books and always looking for an excuse to laugh. None of these things screams “amazing pastor’s wife” but alas, God has called me to this role and to my surprise, it has been amazing.
It seems that every Sunday when we leave from our church we carry on conversations about how blessed we are to be there and how blessed we are to be in this honored position as we are leaving from our church.
Just in the past four months I have watched my husband grow and learn so very much. I’ve watched our family be drawn even closer to each other and to the Lord and I’ve seen God take this loud and crazy woman and turn her into a pastor’s wife. No, I don’t think I’m good at this position. No, I don’t think that anyone would ever envy me or my position. But I do know that I have seen God’s hand start to mold me into something I could have never seen from the beginning.
The really great part is that God has allowed me to still be me. I was sure that as a pastor’s wife I would get the “Don’t you dare!” stare every time I started to make a joke or cut up with our members, but instead they have welcomed my weird personality and seem to love our little family.
You never know what the Lord has in store for you and your family, but you can know that whatever it looks like, He is guiding you and He will provide for you.
If everything starts to crumble around us tomorrow, I know that today we were walking in the things that God called us to do and we were doing it to the best of our abilities. I believe that is all that He truly requires of us. He wants us to obey His will (no matter how crazy it may look) and then trust Him to take care of it from there.