North Jefferson News, Gardendale, AL

Opinion

October 3, 2013

Danielle Cater: Putting the emphasis on respect

Danielle Cater: Putting the emphasis on respect

NORTH JEFFERSON — “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me...” Aretha Franklin must have really known what she was talking about when she put the emphasis on respect.

I can’t ever talk about respect without singing that song in my head.

Respect is something that is earned, not just given. But we are suppose to respect those who are the rulers over us whether they have earned that position or not. Respect isn’t always fair, but it is required in order for us to live lives of peace. If there were no respect for authority, then policemen would be treated as any other citizens and there would be a hectic martial law type of environment. We have to respect the laws and those whom we have been assigned to serve under.

If you are a parent, then you know how important respect can be in the home. If a child is disrespectful to their parents, it will send chills up my spine. I often think things like, “Oh, if that were my daughter, I’d yank her up and put a whoopin’ on her right this second.” But it has been pointed out to me lately that I allow my daughters to treat me with disrespect at times, too. Sometimes I’m just too busy or too tired to really address the issue, but that’s an issue that many parents need to address with their children.

In our homes, children aren’t the only ones who need to be giving respect. Guess where kids learn respect? Go ahead, take a guess — that’s right, they learn it from watching their mommas and daddies. They watch how we, as parents, interact with each other and they often become little duplicates of what they see in the home.

If you’re the wife/mother of the home, then you had better have a deep respect for your husband if you ever expect your children to have any respect for you. That’s right, women — I think that it is our job to respect and honor our husbands. The clincher is that it’s important to respect your husband whether you think he deserves the respect or not. That’s right, if you don’t respect him as the head of your household, then your children will not respect him either. So when that day comes and he lays down a rule for your teenage son, don’t be surprised if that son pops back off to him (like he’s heard you do a hundred times) and then storms out with no fear of repercussions.

Women, we have to give respect to our husbands as the father and as a husband if we want our children to do the same.

Husbands, you’re not off the hook though. Just as it’s our responsibility to respect you, you must return respect and love for your wife as the woman of the household and the mother of the home. If you are short with your wife and disregard every piece of advice she gives out, then don’t be surprised when that teenage daughter starts to treat her the same way. If you treat your wife like she is an idiot, then your children will follow suite.

Show your family true love and respect and start with your spouse. Respect starts at the home and then it can spread to the classroom, the neighborhood, the church house and the work place.

So now we’ve squared away the importance of respecting the members of our families, but let’s talk about respect outside of the four walls of our house.

What about the fact that we should have an understanding of respect for anyone who is our elder? If someone is your elder in the community, there needs to be a level of respect toward that person. They deserve respect because of their age and because of their experiences. Don’t just take for granted that the older generation doesn’t understand what’s going on in the world today. They lived through all of this at one time, and they have stories and advice that can really help our generation and the generations behind us.

What I am about to say is going to really step on some toes in our community, but I feel that it needs to be said. Not only are the young people supposed to give respect to the older folks, but the older generation still needs to give respect to the younger ones also. You need to be respectful of those under you in order to gain respect. If I treat my little niece with complete disrespect all of the time, I am a fool to think that she will respect me when it comes down to it.

Older generation, you still have to give respect to those younger than yourselves. They aren’t total and complete morons — they have experiences too and although you may think they are wrong all of the time, you could still learn a thing or two from them as well.

Respect goes both ways. If you give respect, then you can expect to receive it. If you are disrespectful, then don’t expect others to respect you, no matter what your age or title may be. Give respect and be respectable and you will probably find yourself on the receiving end of respect as well.

1
Text Only
Opinion
  • Danielle Cater: Be strong in moments of weakness

    A sad scene took place on Sunday at a church in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. The founding pastor of Calvary Chapel stepped down from his position of head pastor due to “moral failing which disqualifies him from continuing his leadership role at the church.” This church is home to over 20,000 members who worship together in 10 locations across Florida.

    April 15, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Old dogs can learn new tricks

    You’re never too old to learn something new. I’m of the opinion that you can, indeed, teach an old dog new tricks.
    So as an old dog, I’ve been trying to pick up a new trick.

    April 7, 2014

  • Commentary: Bad vacation attitudes won't last forever

    In these photos, everyone else in the family is smiling as if this were their favorite vacation of all times, but I am huffing with my arms crossed and a literal frown on my face.

    March 26, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: I’ll never live down running out of gas

    Have you ever had one of those days where you are functioning on four hours of sleep, and yet you still have to get up at 5:45 a.m. to get the family to church by 7 a.m. on the other side of town? After church you run home to get ready for your 6-year-old’s birthday party and then head straight back to church to help with the services until after 9 p.m.? That just might be a good description of our Sunday afternoon. Whoever said “easy like Sunday morning” obviously didn’t have kids and probably didn’t go to church.

    March 20, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Most people aren’t politically correct

    I probably work in the wrong profession to hate political correctness, but I do. I can’t stand it when I feel as if I need to walk on eggshells all the time to keep from hurting people’s feelings. I don’t try to be excessively offensive, but people are so easily offended these days, it’s almost impossible not to tick someone off by everything that you say or do.

    March 14, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Lessons, fun times make retreats enjoyable

    I did something recently that is apparently out of the ordinary for most people. I went to a marriage conference while I was not in the midst of marital problems.

    March 6, 2014

  • Letter to the editor: Thanks to Gardendale citizens for hospitality

    We, along with many other travelers, spent the next two days and nights in your splendid center. We are of the opinion that we couldn’t have been stranded in a better place.

    February 28, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Be sure to give your kids what they need

    Once the snow melted this week, life went back to normal and we all found ourselves busy with our regular day-to-day activities, and trying to catch up on everything we had put on the back burner during the snow days.
    Our household had a busy weekend, and among the events of the weekend, we celebrated our second birthday in three weeks. That’s right, our perfectly-blended family has given us two daughters who celebrate birthdays within three weeks of each other.

    February 18, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Find excitement in the boring days

    Many people got to take a vacation day this past Monday for MLK Day. What this day stands for is a great cause and an issue that should be addressed, but for many people, it was just another holiday.
    Our office is like most other offices, so we were open to the public Monday. But since schools and daycares were closed, I got the privilege of staying home with the four best daughters in the world. We started off the day with the attitude of fun.

    January 22, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: One year down, rest of my life to go

    Dec. 29, 2013 has come and gone, and for many people it held no lasting significance. But for me, it marked the first anniversary of marriage to my amazing husband.

    January 9, 2014