North Jefferson News, Gardendale, AL

June 18, 2012

Real men make dad duties look easy

Real men make dad duties look easy

By Danielle Pelkey
North Jefferson News

COMMENTARY — Sunday is Father’s Day and we all know what that means: Ugly ties and bad golfing equipment will be given to men all across our nation. So in response to your endless nights at the ballpark and working overtime in order to buy your daughter those new jeans, you get a ridiculous gift from the heart of your children. Aren’t you glad you’re a dad?

The sad truth is that many men aren’t really dads, they are men who helped a woman create a baby, but never follow through with their duties as a father. There is so much more to being a dad than providing for the family. That is a huge part of it, but the relationship between father and child has to be the principle matter.

It doesn’t matter how many gloves he has or how many princess dresses she has, your children need to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you genuinely love them. And not that you just love them, that you love them for who they are. Whether you have a sports-fanatic, an intellectual nerd, a skate boarder or a gamer, you have to show them that you love them for what’s on the inside without making them feel badly about who they are.

Girls especially need the confirmation that comes from knowing that no matter how their day has gone or how mean a boy treats them, their daddy will be right there for them when they get home, wanting to spend time with his little girl.

Boys today are in serious need of role models to show them how to be real men, not sissies or deadbeats, but men who aren’t ashamed to say that they are husbands and fathers who love their family and put the needs of their family above their own.

Fathers have a heavy weight to carry around and I’m so blessed to say that my father did an excellent job of balancing his career, pastoring duties, fishing, faith and family. My dad, Danny Tesseneer, who I refer to as “Diddy,” truly showed us what it was like to be a mighty man of God leading his family and loving them along the way. When I hear others talk about their fathers being abusive or neglectful, it turns my stomach.

Real men take care of their families. Real men love their children and real men aren’t embarrassed to attend their daughter’s tea parties or cheer for their son’s games. When you love someone, you want to be a part of their lives and that’s what real dads do. Real dads are a part of their children’s lives and take a key role in raising their babies.

That doesn’t mean that dads can’t still be crazy men though. I can remember me and my sister having tea parties and dad naming the tea “snake guts” and the cookies “lizard eyes.” You can still be a man and be a dad. I’m a girl and I love to fish, shoot guns and ride motorcycles. Being a good dad doesn’t mean you have to give up having fun, it just means that your fun will include your family most of the time.

So men, make it a point to spend some extra quality time with your children this week. I promise you won’t regret sowing into their lives. Who knows, maybe you can even hint about what color tie you want given to you this Sunday.