North Jefferson News, Gardendale, AL


June 18, 2012

Real men make dad duties look easy

Real men make dad duties look easy

COMMENTARY — Sunday is Father’s Day and we all know what that means: Ugly ties and bad golfing equipment will be given to men all across our nation. So in response to your endless nights at the ballpark and working overtime in order to buy your daughter those new jeans, you get a ridiculous gift from the heart of your children. Aren’t you glad you’re a dad?

The sad truth is that many men aren’t really dads, they are men who helped a woman create a baby, but never follow through with their duties as a father. There is so much more to being a dad than providing for the family. That is a huge part of it, but the relationship between father and child has to be the principle matter.

It doesn’t matter how many gloves he has or how many princess dresses she has, your children need to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you genuinely love them. And not that you just love them, that you love them for who they are. Whether you have a sports-fanatic, an intellectual nerd, a skate boarder or a gamer, you have to show them that you love them for what’s on the inside without making them feel badly about who they are.

Girls especially need the confirmation that comes from knowing that no matter how their day has gone or how mean a boy treats them, their daddy will be right there for them when they get home, wanting to spend time with his little girl.

Boys today are in serious need of role models to show them how to be real men, not sissies or deadbeats, but men who aren’t ashamed to say that they are husbands and fathers who love their family and put the needs of their family above their own.

Fathers have a heavy weight to carry around and I’m so blessed to say that my father did an excellent job of balancing his career, pastoring duties, fishing, faith and family. My dad, Danny Tesseneer, who I refer to as “Diddy,” truly showed us what it was like to be a mighty man of God leading his family and loving them along the way. When I hear others talk about their fathers being abusive or neglectful, it turns my stomach.

Real men take care of their families. Real men love their children and real men aren’t embarrassed to attend their daughter’s tea parties or cheer for their son’s games. When you love someone, you want to be a part of their lives and that’s what real dads do. Real dads are a part of their children’s lives and take a key role in raising their babies.

That doesn’t mean that dads can’t still be crazy men though. I can remember me and my sister having tea parties and dad naming the tea “snake guts” and the cookies “lizard eyes.” You can still be a man and be a dad. I’m a girl and I love to fish, shoot guns and ride motorcycles. Being a good dad doesn’t mean you have to give up having fun, it just means that your fun will include your family most of the time.

So men, make it a point to spend some extra quality time with your children this week. I promise you won’t regret sowing into their lives. Who knows, maybe you can even hint about what color tie you want given to you this Sunday.

Text Only
  • Danielle Cater: People make job worth doing

    When I started working for the newspaper 10 years ago, no one asked me why I did it. It was a good career move and I wanted to be a professional; I wanted to move up in the world.
    But as time went on and people started offering me other jobs, I stayed true to my position as office manager of the North Jefferson News. It’s become a part of my being. Just about anyone who knows me, knows that I work for the newspaper. They usually don’t have a clue as to what I actually do here, but they know that if they need me, I can be reached at the newspaper office.

    August 19, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Funeral reflects one man’s life

    We will all be lying in the front of a church or funeral home one day and I don’t want everyone wondering where my soul is. I don’t want them weeping for my loss. I want them having a Holy Ghost party and preaching the gospel to my family and friends.

    August 11, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: New school year hard on moms

    Did any other parents spend the entire last week of summer trying to fit in a whole summer’s worth of activities?

    August 11, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: New school year hard on mom

    Did any other parents spend the entire last week of summer trying to fit in a whole summer’s worth of activities? There were so many things that we wanted to do with our daughters before school started back and they all seemed to get put off until the very last minute.

    August 6, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: People, not things, make life exciting

    Another year of life has come and gone and as I wave goodbye to the 33rd year of my life, I warmly embrace the start of my 34th year of existence.
    I’ve often said that one shouldn’t be ashamed of their age; getting older sure beats the alternative.

    August 4, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: What kind of banana are you?

    They say what goes in is what comes out. I’ve heard it said, “Garbage in, garbage out.” There’s a lot of truth to that statement right there.

    July 28, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Bass fishing is just in my blood

    I was born the daughter of a fisherman. My dad was the pastor of a local church and the manager at various Jefferson County Waste Water Treatment plants, but anyone who knows him, knows he is a fisherman at heart.

    July 21, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Making memories not that hard

    Do you spoil your kids? Do you spend enough on them? What really matters when it comes to the well-being of your children? These questions are real doozies and I think the answers vary according to the family.

    July 9, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Graduation leads to hard decisions

    The caps and gowns are ordered, the invitations have been mailed. Checks are being written all across the country, it must be graduation time.

    May 29, 2014

  • Danielle Cater: Longevity in marriage still possible

    I have officially seen it with my own eyes. I have witnessed it with my own life. Yes, I have seen a couple who has been married 60 years and still love each other. Even more than that, they still respect each other and still genuinely love to be around each other.

    May 27, 2014