North Jefferson News, Gardendale, AL

June 6, 2012

Danielle Pelkey: Words can and will be used against you

By Danielle Pelkey
North Jefferson News

COMMENTARY — I’ve heard it said that arguing with a woman is like being arrested – everything you say can and will be used against you. Now, we women would all like to act like that isn’t the case, but for most females, this is a cold, hard fact.

You see, when a woman is cut by words, our minds become like a steel trap. They hold every look, expression, curl of the lip, word, syllable... anything that we think can be used to prove that you have cut us, will be stored away in our little brains. The funny thing about it is that I have the worst memory in the world. If you tell me to call you when I get home, even if it is a three-minute drive, I will never remember to do it. My mind retains information for about 30 seconds and then files it away in chapter 13 and that’s the last we hear from it for the remainder of my life.

But if you say anything to hurt me or my family, then my brain goes into overdrive and that information is on a permanent retainer. Perhaps that is why women can be slow to forgive people when they hurt them sometimes. This is no excuse for holding a grudge, but when someone hurts you with their words, it’s hard to let it go.

The old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is about the most inaccurate sentence known to man. Our words cut deep. They can leave scars that last a lifetime. Nothing proves this more than when we take a look at the number of suicides that have been committed thanks to bullying and harassment on simple things such as Facebook and texts.

Once our words are out, we can never get them back. Oh, we can apologize and beg forgiveness, but the Bible says, “From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.” Sometimes we do speak without thinking, but often, that’s when real truth flows out of our mouths.

It’s very important to choose your words carefully. They can come back to bite you much quicker than you ever imagined. If you’ve ever had that moment when you realized that the words coming out of your mouth should have been stopped, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

There have been times that I have wanted to literally grab the words right out of the air and stuff them back into my mouth because I knew that what I was saying was going to hurt someone.

Be cautious of every word that comes out of your mouth because you will be judged by them. If even a child is known by their doings, then we should know that an adult will definitely be known by their words.

Take every conversation into account and see if it is uplifting or downgrading. This is something that I need a lot of work on because I am a woman, and I do enjoy the occasional (if not daily) talk time that can turn into gossip. So I write this as a warning to us all... watch your words, watch your actions, watch your heart... it all starts with the words though.