North Jefferson News, Gardendale, AL

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February 23, 2010

Regarding women: If you’re not sure, don’t say it

By Danielle Pelkey The North Jefferson News

COMMENTARY — Last weekend, our family decided to go to the Bassmaster’s Classic at the Birmingham-Jefferson Convention Complex.

We have a strong connection with the Bassmasters, because of my father’s love of fishing. So, we decided to make it a family event. We packed up the girls and headed to the fun.

We had one daughter in a stroller and one daughter on a leash. I know, this sounds harsh, but my 3-year-old is too old to sit in a stroller and wants to walk everywhere. The best solution to this problem is to put her “toy monkey” on her back which doubles as a leash, since the tail has a loop on the end for mommy or daddy to hold.

Yes, I have seen the looks that we are given when she is wearing it, but it doesn’t stop her from loving her monkey. She asks to wear it around the house when it’s playtime, so I feel no regrets for “punishing” my daughter in this way. Besides, when you are surrounded by thousands of people, it’s a good idea to keep your kids connected to you.

There we were, walking through the parking lot to go to the show, when we passed a group of old men who were sitting around talking. We caught their eyes because of our girls, so one of them made the following comment: “Well looky there. You got one in a stroller, one on a leash and one on the way!”

Now let me clarify, I am not pregnant. I have actually lost weight in the past few months, so you can imagine the look on my face as this man spoke his mind. My face must have given away more than I expected because the other man said, “Oh, now, you can see that girl’s not pregnant. Why would you say that?”

My husband then laughed uncontrollably and walked away. I’m sure he didn’t want to be a witness to the murder that was about to take place.

In all actuality, I laughed too. It was funny for someone to think that I was pregnant when I wasn’t. Granted, it didn’t make me feel very good, but I have gotten a lot of laughs out of other people when I tell them the story.

Men, I don’t care if a woman has a belly the size of a house and she’s rubbing it and looking at it with her head cocked to the side. Do NOT ask her if she is pregnant. Don’t ask her when it’s due. Don’t ask her if she’s ready to pop. Don’t ask or say anything. The odds of you getting it wrong and destroying her self image are too great. Just let it go.

If you have a wife with you, follow her lead. If she says something, go along with it. But in no instance should you speak first.

I have recovered from my brush with embarrassment. It has caused me to put down a Hershey’s Kiss or two, but for the most part, I have recovered.

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