North Jefferson News, Gardendale, AL

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March 2, 2010

Presenting my plea for matrimonial advice

By Adam Smith The North Jefferson News

COMMENTARY — As the days continue to fly by, I find myself closer and closer to matrimonial bliss.

The final details are being wrapped up and I’m approximately 45 days away from being a better or worse half of a married couple.

I don’t have cold feet, as I usually wear thick socks and heavy shoes. That’s not to say I’m not nervous. It’s like going from the minors to the pros, only with 70 or more people watching. (Which, is about the average attendance at the last few Birmingham Barons games I’ve been to.)

I’m going into this marriage thing with a sound mind and an optimistic attitude. However, I only want to do this once. I’m not Catholic, mind you, and I do realize the current divorce rate is about 50 percent or more. But, I feel it is possible to make a marriage work in our turbulent economic times.

I’ve received little to no advice from any currently married man I know. My own parents have been married for almost 39 years. Now in their 60s, they take a lot of trips to Walmart and accuse each other of being goofy. I am sure it’s done out of love.

Despite the differences they have, they’ll always serve as a great example to me of how a marriage should work. There’s a lot of compromise, give and take and overlooking of various shortcomings.

When I’m not visiting them, I have no idea what goes on. There was a sketch on the old “Living Color” comedy series about a married man and woman who tried to kill each other when no one was around. When friends or relatives would stop by, they would hug and kiss on each other until they were alone again. Then the violence and insults would start over.

As a teenager, I found it funny. However, at that time it never occurred to me that such things could happen. I just hope marriage is nothing like what I fear:

• years one to three: everything is great

• years four to 50: things are nothing like the first three years

Lensey and I have been through a lot together, so I’m pretty sure we are capable of basking in the good times and weathering the bad times.

Still, I’d like some advice from any married man who may be reading this. I don’t even care if you’ve been married before.

Actually, if you’ve been married more than once, your advice might be more valuable because you’re aware of some mistakes made by you or your former spouse(s).

If you have any valuable advice to share, I’d welcome you to e-mail it to me at asmith@njeffersonnews.com. If you’re not computer savvy, feel free to send it by mail to:

Marriage Tips

c/o The North Jefferson News

P.O. Box 849

Gardendale, AL  35071

I plan on printing the best of the bunch (or as many possible) in our special bridal section coming out this month.

I look forward to your advice. Thanks in advance.

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