Published: November 25, 2008 04:54 pm         

Reasons why those in the sports world should be thankful

Commentary by Robert Carter

The North Jefferson News



The Thanksgiving holiday has rolled around again, and it is incumbent upon us to reflect on the things for which we are thankful. And if we can’t think of anything, we can just make something up. In that vein, here are some things that a few people in the world of sports (and elsewhere) should consider:

• Tony Franklin: The former Auburn football offensive coordinator should be thankful that there are many convenient locations of FedEx Kinko’s where he can freshen up his résumé, 24 hours a day.

• Mal Moore: The Alabama athletic director certainly is thankful the biggest gamble in the history of The Capstone — the hiring of Nick Saban — has paid off, big time. If it hadn’t, Moore might be tending bar at Bob Baumhower’s Wings in Tuscaloosa, and his successor might be sitting next to the heads of the American auto makers, begging the U. S. Senate for bail-out money.

• John Parker Wilson: Should thank the rest of his offense for helping make sure that he is much more than a footnote in Crimson Tide history. Otherwise, the former Hoover High standout’s future may have involved many leftover cases of DVDs of his old MTV show, “Two-a-Days.”

• Auburn fans: That super-trustee Bobby Lowder’s corporate airplane is warming up on the airport tarmac, ready to speed off to parts unknown to negotiate a deal with the next prospective coach. That approach worked so well with Bobby Petrino.

• Tommy Tuberville: Should be grateful that it will likely not be necessary for a surgeon to attach more fingers to his hand, for counting purposes.

• The Tuscaloosa Chamber of Commerce: The city’s businesses should be extremely thankful for the Tide’s football success this year, particularly those stores the cater to game-day crowds and sell Bama merchandise. Ka-ching!

• Lou Pinella: The Chicago Cubs manager should thank his lucky stars that Cubs fans, myself included, are used to losing and are forgiving of the team’s most recent el foldo when it was predicted to go all the way to the World Series. But our patience is wearing thin, and we’re not sure that the new ownership that takes over after the Tribune Company unloads the team will be willing to pony up to get the players needed to finally break the century-old futility streak. Even the late, great Harry Caray would be booing by now.

• Brett Favre: The grizzled, aging NFL superstar should be thankful that the Green Bay Packers did not accept his attempt to return to his old team, after he had second thoughts about retiring. Now he’s with the Jets, where he just knocked off the previously-undefeated Titans (well, I’m not so cool with that). Now Favre can end his career with a bang, instead of a fizzle with a mediocre Packers squad.

• Ted Thompson: The Packers general manager, responsible for Favre’s non-return, should be glad that the townspeople did not hang his fanny from the top of the old Chicago & North Western Railway station tower in downtown Green Bay, or shove him over the side of the Ray Nitschke Drawbridge.

• Barack Obama: The president-elect should be thankful that he is not, as some conservative commentators (hello, Rush!) would say, the second coming of the Messiah. That now apparently falls to Nick Saban. Speaking of whom ...

• Nick Saban: That this season, of all seasons, is the one where Auburn stinks up the joint and isn’t likely to spoil the Tide’s unbeaten regular season. Of course, that’s no guarantee at all — this is the Iron Bowl after all, and anything can happen.

• Yours truly: Finally, I’m thankful that a huge feast awaits me in suburban Cincinnati tomorrow, and all I have to do is bring the ham and fix some of my semi-famous baked macaroni and cheese — and I don’t have to clean up afterward.