Published: August 27, 2008 01:50 pm         

Comfort too often replaces giddy in married couples’ lives

Commentary by Danielle Pelkey

The North Jefferson News



As I sat in a restaurant this afternoon, I noticed something that kind of made me sad.

I came to the realization that you can almost always tell if a couple is married or dating by their body language.

I watched as couple after couple came and sat to eat their meals together. The married couples were so often there for the food only. They rarely talked to one another and they sure didn’t touch hands or feet.

But there is a different story for the dating couples. They were interested in what the other had to say and they almost inevitably had to hold hands at some point in the meal. They weren’t there at all for the food, but for the fellowship.

At what point in our relationships do we stop needing to be interested in the relationship other than the food? I feel like this is a huge problem in relationships. When do we quit trying to impress our spouse? Is it when he starts throwing his laundry by the basket instead of putting it in the basket? Is is when she doesn’t wear make up all day on Saturday?

When is it okay to let your spouse just be a spouse and no longer the person who makes your heart skip a beat when they walk into the room?

Think back to the time that you and your spouse first started dating. Do you remember thinking about them throughout the day and looking forward to the next meeting you two would have?

I can remember very vividly those moments right before Todd was to pick me up for a date, sitting on the couch and being so excited and nervous that I almost wanted to chicken out.

Those were the good days. I guess many people would say that being comfortable in a relationship is just as important as being giddy, but do we replace one for the other? I’m afraid that I have at times done this in my own relationship.

I know that Todd is coming home to me, so why should I be all excited and sitting on the couch in anticipation of his arrival? But, on the other hand, there are still many nights that I look through the blinds numerous times waiting for him to come in so I can see him again.

Of course I would never tell him this, but I still love that boy the way I did the first time we ever went out. He still makes my heart skip off beat. Sometimes it’s out of anger and sometimes it’s out of love, but either way, my heart is skipping beats.

Maybe it would help out our relationships if we would try to be a little more like a dating couple and less like the couple that think they don’t have to be excited about each other.

I’m gonna try this and see how it works out. I’ll let you know if it is worth it.